Clash of the Titans (1981)

Hollywood has just remade Clash of the Titans and I have heard rumours of a Jason and the Argonauts remake. I pray they never do it. Jason and the Argonauts is a top class movie, one of my all time favourites with effects way ahead of its time (1963!). Not to mention Todd Armstrong, who plays Jason, is hot and one of my very first crushes. Anyway, we are not here to talk about Jason, it’s Clash that needs to be discussed.
I had seen Clash of the Titans as a child but could only ever remember the Medusa scene and one day, after discovering it on my shelf, having forgotten that I had bought it, Mr Pigalina and I sat down to watch. Considering the fabulousness of Jason and the Argonauts which is 20 years older I was expecting more. I willed the movie to be great, I really did but the effects were so terrible that they could only be called “special” in the same way you call someone totally inept at everything a bit special. The blue screen stuff was so obvious – the colours were all crazy. The Kraken was embarrassing. It was like watching a terrible TV show. What was with the mechanical owl too? They didn’t have robots in Ancient Greece! Calibos would have been better being a man in a suit rather than sometimes a man in a suit and sometimes a shamboliccally animated claymation character. It was delightful to see a young Maggie Smith, though that was about the only highlight. Mr Pigalina loyally declared that there was nothing special about Princess Andromeda – and I have to agree. You wouldn’t catch me burning at the stake for her let alone risking my life with Medusa.
The whole thing was like a bad made for TV Saturday afternoon affair – think Hercules – The Legendary Journeys but worse (not that I wasn’t an avid viewer of that). Like I said before, I really hoped that it would be better but it let me down. Let’s hope the remake is better – though I haven’t read much over a 3 star review of that either – the story warants more!
A 2 out of 5 pigs from me.


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